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  • Navneet Kaur

What To Do If You're No Longer Sexually Attracted to Your Partner

Updated: Oct 6, 2023

What To Do If You're No Longer Sexually Attracted to Your Partner

In any long-term relationship, it's natural for the initial spark of passion and desire to ebb and flow over time. While it's not uncommon for couples to experience periods of decreased sexual attraction towards one another, it can still be a challenging and emotionally charged situation to navigate. If you find yourself in a situation where you're no longer sexually attracted to your partner, it's essential to approach the issue with empathy, communication, and an open mind. Here are some steps to consider:

1. Self-Reflection: The first step is to take some time for introspection and understand your feelings. Are there any underlying reasons for the loss of sexual attraction? Stress, unresolved conflicts, or personal insecurities can all contribute to a decline in desire. Reflect on your emotional state and whether any external factors may be impacting your feelings towards your partner.

2. Communicate Openly: Honest communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. If you're experiencing a change in your sexual attraction, it's crucial to discuss it with your partner openly and sensitively. Avoid blaming or accusing language; instead, focus on expressing your emotions and concerns in a non-confrontational manner. Sharing your feelings can foster a deeper understanding between both of you.

3. Seek Professional Help: If you find it difficult to address the issue on your own, consider seeking the guidance of a professional therapist or counselor. A trained professional can help facilitate conversations and provide valuable insights into the complexities of attraction and relationships. They can assist in identifying any underlying issues and offer strategies for rekindling intimacy. Learn more about sex therapy here.

4. Assess the Relationship Holistically: Remember that sexual attraction is just one aspect of a relationship, albeit an essential one. Take the time to assess the overall health of your relationship. Are you emotionally connected? Do you share common interests and values? Are you supportive of each other's goals and dreams? By evaluating the broader picture, you can gain perspective on whether the lack of sexual attraction is a temporary hurdle or a symptom of deeper problems.

5. Introduce Variety and Novelty: Relationships can become stagnant when they fall into predictable patterns. Injecting some novelty and variety into your interactions can reignite the spark. Plan activities together, explore new hobbies, or surprise each other with thoughtful gestures. Breaking the routine can lead to renewed excitement and emotional closeness.

6. Prioritize Intimacy: Intimacy is not solely about sexual activity; it encompasses emotional closeness, affection, and bonding. Focus on nurturing intimacy in your relationship through non-sexual touch, cuddling, and spending quality time together. These expressions of love can strengthen your emotional connection, which, in turn, may positively impact your sexual desire.

7. Be Patient and Understanding: Reviving sexual attraction takes time, effort, and patience. Avoid putting undue pressure on yourself or your partner to "fix" things overnight. Instead, be understanding of each other's feelings and progress. Celebrate small victories along the way and maintain an optimistic outlook on the future.

8. Consider Relationship Goals: Take time to discuss your individual and shared relationship goals. Assess whether these goals are still aligned and whether you both are willing to work towards a fulfilling partnership. If the disconnect in sexual attraction persists and significantly affects your overall happiness, you may need to make difficult decisions about the future of the relationship.

Remember, relationships evolve, and it's normal for attractions to fluctuate over time. Addressing the issue of waning sexual desire with honesty and respect can open up new avenues for growth and connection in your relationship. Ultimately, the key is to approach this challenge as a team, supporting each other through the highs and lows, and being willing to adapt and evolve together.


Safe Space Counseling provides couples with a safe and comfortable space to practice being emotionally vulnerable again, so even the most awkward conversations about their sex life are done with care and love. Schedule a consultation here.

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What To Do If You're No Longer Sexually Attracted to Your Partner

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