Real Talk: What They Don't Tell You About Freshman Year of College

OMFG, can you believe it?! You’re free. You’re officially a college student. Hell yes!

Honestly, it really is such a unique and fun time in life. If you get the chance to go away to college, get ready for the time of your life—and a ton of life lessons. For me, I packed up my stuff and told my mom, “I’m moving to the beach and never coming back.” I thought it’d be that easy because I was heading to San Diego State. Hahaha, looking back now, I can’t believe how naive I was about adult life. But maybe that’s the beauty of it—embracing being young and dumb (within limits, of course) because you have your whole life ahead of you to worry about all the “real” stuff.

Now, I’m not going to waste your time telling you about all the amazing experiences I had my freshman year as an Aztec (and trust me, there were plenty—from theme parties to meeting my husband). That part is easy. Those are the stories you’ve heard a million times.

No—this is about the things no one talks about.

Let’s start with feeling homesick, alone, and insecure, and then work our way to too much freedom and the dark side of partying.

The First Night Alone

Picture this: I’m 18, with all my belongings packed into my car as I pull up to SDSU. I’m buzzing with excitement. In a blur, I’m unpacking boxes into my dorm room before going to dinner with my family and some high school friends. Then... I say goodbye to my mom and dad. We’re all fighting back tears.

And suddenly, it’s just me.

IT’S JUST ME.

That’s a weird, overwhelming feeling—especially when I hadn’t really worked through my depression. If I’m being honest, I hadn’t even begun.

That first semester, I had multiple breakdowns. One happened in broad daylight because I couldn’t find my classroom—it was in the basement of some old building in a far corner of campus where none of the room numbers made any sense. But most breakdowns happened at night. That aching loneliness would hit hard. My family was eight hours away. I felt like all my new college friends had it all figured out, and I didn’t want to be the weird girl who couldn’t keep up.

The Party Scene (And the Stuff No One Warns You About)

You know what didn’t help—but I thought it did?

Drinking.

Don’t get me wrong: the parties were fun. I enjoyed myself. But here’s the thing—alcohol is a depressant. That means after the initial buzz, it actually makes you feel worse—sometimes even while you’re still drunk. And definitely the next day, when you’re nursing a pounding headache and trying to pretend you don’t have a hangover.

When you’re already battling depression or low self-esteem, alcohol turns up the volume on every negative thought in your head. Not always right away—and that’s what makes it so sneaky. The choices you make while drunk usually don’t help either. Not just who you find attractive after six shots, but what happens when you black out.

One night, my best friend came to visit from Idaho. We drank with some old high school friends, my very attractive neighbor in the dorm and his roommate. What started as a fun night ended with us getting caught by our RA, me blacking out, and saying some terrible things to my best friend—things I’ll never be able to take back, like blaming her for my depression.

And she had a 6 a.m. flight the next morning. I didn’t even get the chance to apologize in person. I was humiliated. Disgusted with myself. I had this knot in my stomach, terrified I’d ruined one of the most important friendships of my life.

If I’d had therapy at the time, maybe I could’ve avoided that night. I could’ve learned how drinking impacts my mental health—how to make better choices, or at least how to recognize warning signs and set boundaries.

Alcohol, Depression, and Inexperience

Here’s the truth most college students don’t want to admit: Most of us come in with zero real drinking experience. We don’t know our limits until it’s too late. And sometimes, you don’t get a chance to take things back.

I was lucky. I recovered from my mistakes—but not without mandatory drug and alcohol counseling, taking a break from partying, and doing a lot of repair work with my friends.

But not everyone gets to recover.

Remember that super attractive neighbor I mentioned? He ended up joining a frat, partying almost daily, and failing out of school.

Here’s another story… at the end of my freshman year—on the first day of finals—an FBI sting operation went down. Undercover agents posing as fraternity pledges arrested their own frat brothers for drug possession. And they didn’t care who got caught in the crossfire.

One of my friends shared a room with a guy who had drugs "hidden" in his underwear drawer. The drugs weren’t my friend's, but because they were in his room, he got kicked out of SDSU. He ended up at community college and graduated two years later than he should have—all because of a few wild nights during freshman year.

Final Thoughts

I know that’s an extreme example, and I’m not trying to preach. But I do want to be real about the darker side of partying. Because when you’re 18, everything feels exciting and harmless... until it’s not.

Therapy can give you a safe, judgment-free space to explore your feelings—your curiosity, your fears, and your limits. Especially when it comes to partying for the first time. You don’t need to figure it all out alone.

Because no one really talks about this part of college.

But maybe we should.