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  • Navneet Kaur

Challenges on Parenting Pre-teens and How to Overcome Them

Updated: Oct 6, 2023

Challenges on Parenting Pre-teens and How to Overcome Them

Parenting is an incredible journey filled with joy, love, and growth. However, when your child enters the pre-teen years, it can also bring forth a unique set of challenges. Pre-teens, typically aged between 9 and 12 years, are going through significant physical, emotional, and cognitive changes. As they transition from childhood to adolescence, it is crucial for parents to understand and address these challenges in a supportive and effective manner. Learn some common challenges faced by parents during this phase and provide strategies to overcome them.

Emotional Roller Coaster:

Pre-teens often experience intense emotions as they grapple with hormonal changes and the emergence of their identity. They may exhibit mood swings, increased sensitivity, and struggle with emotional regulation. As a parent, it is essential to create a safe space for your child to express their feelings without judgment. Encourage open communication, active listening, and validate their emotions. Help them develop emotional intelligence by teaching coping mechanisms, such as deep breathing exercises or journaling.

Peer Pressure and Identity Formation:

During pre-adolescence, children become more aware of their social surroundings and seek validation from their peers. They may face pressure to conform to societal norms, leading to identity confusion. Parents can support their pre-teens by fostering a strong sense of self-worth and individuality. Encourage their interests and hobbies, provide positive role models, and engage in open discussions about their values and beliefs. Teach critical thinking skills to help them make informed decisions and navigate peer pressure effectively.

Technology and Screen Time:

In today's digital age, pre-teens are exposed to an overwhelming amount of technology and screen time. Balancing the benefits and risks of technology can be challenging for parents. Establish clear boundaries and guidelines regarding screen time usage. Encourage a healthy balance between offline and online activities by promoting physical exercise, hobbies, and face-to-face interactions. Engage in joint activities, such as playing board games or going for outdoor adventures, to create meaningful connections and reduce excessive reliance on technology.

Independence and Responsibility:

Pre-teens desire more independence and autonomy, which can clash with parental expectations. It is crucial to find a balance between granting freedom and establishing boundaries. Gradually delegate age-appropriate responsibilities, such as household chores or managing personal schedules, to help them develop a sense of accountability and self-reliance. Encourage decision-making skills and problem-solving abilities, allowing them to learn from their mistakes in a supportive environment.

Peer Relationships and Bullying:

As children navigate through pre-adolescence, they may encounter complex social dynamics and potentially experience bullying. Foster healthy peer relationships by encouraging empathy, kindness, and respect for others. Teach them conflict resolution skills and provide guidance on recognizing and reporting bullying incidents. Create open lines of communication, so they feel comfortable discussing their experiences and seeking support when needed.


Parenting pre-teens can be a challenging yet rewarding experience. By understanding the unique challenges they face, parents can provide the necessary support and guidance during this critical phase of development. Remember to foster open communication, provide a safe space for emotional expression, and empower your pre-teen to navigate their emerging identities. Each child is unique, and it is important to approach parenting with patience, empathy, and a willingness to adapt strategies based on individual needs. Together, we can overcome these challenges and lay the foundation for healthy, thriving pre-adolescents.

If you think you or your child may benefit from speaking with a someone to help overcome any obstacles, please schedule a no-obligation consultation here to see if we may be the right fit.

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Challenges on Parenting Pre-teens and How to Overcome Them

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