Preparing for Hard Conversations About Your Depression
Updated: Oct 6
Depression is an extremely intimate and personal battle. It makes us question our decisions, our opinions, and sometimes the very core of our being. Because it is so personal, it can be really hard to discuss the depths of it with someone, even your partner. Talking about your depression can be anxiety provoking and scary because of the level of vulnerability it requires on your part, and the understanding and non-judgmental responses it requires on your partner’s.
To make this a little easier on you, here are some questions to ask yourself and journal about before starting the conversation:
1) How does the depression show up for you?
This means, what symptoms of the depression are the most troublesome for you? Is it the lack of interest, feeling sad all the time, wanting to do nothing but sleep (or not sleeping enough)?
2) How do your symptoms affect your daily life or routine?
What kind of impact does the depression have on you daily? Does it vary day to day? Are there some symptoms that affect your daily functioning more than others?
3) How much detail do you want to share with your partner?
Another way to word this question is: how vulnerable do you want to be with your partner when discussing the depression? Are you comfortable going into detail about what may have brought it on?
4) What are you absolutely sure that you do NOT want to share with your partner?
Are there some parts of the depression that you do not feel comfortable sharing? For example, some people may have a hard boundary about sharing why they think they may be depressed but are okay with sharing how it affects them. Others may not want to share the length of time they have been suffering for fear of worrying their partner.
5) Why do you want to share your struggles with depression with your partner at this point in time?
Has something happened that made you realize you can’t hide it anymore? Are you worried about the affect it’s having on your relationship? Why is it important that your partner know?
6) How would you like your partner to support you?
Do you want them to be aware so they can be more sensitive? Do you want them to help you in some way (if so, how)? Or do you want them to step in and help you reach out for professional help because it feels too difficult for you? Being clear about what you would like from your partner will help them understand your expectation and intention about sharing your struggles with depression.
Depression can be one of the hardest experiences one goes through but having the right support and professional help in your corner can be a game changer for recovery. There are so many ways to help control and reduce depression symptoms, and I would love to share these with you to help you get to a place where the depression no longer controls your life.
Schedule an appointment with me so we can get you back to feeling like you.
Author: Navneet Kaur, PhD, LPCC
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